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Online Poker Site Offers Facetime with the Enemy

Playing Dead or Alive 5 the other night, it occurred to me that if we don’t get a new Xtreme Beach Whatever game based on its engine, despite the perv factor, I will be very disappointed. Because as I’ve said before, my favorite electronic poker simulation is that of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2.

“Isn’t that the game where you’re playing against a bunch of anime girls and they’re all naked?” asked a friend once when I mentioned it. Well, aheh…no. They’re not naked (non-sanctioned third party nude patch not withstanding) and in fact, during the casino games, the most you ever see of your opponents is a static head shot at the top of the screen. That always kinda disappointed me, actually. I would have loved a mechanic by which you could attempt to read the girls’ poker faces, when watch them react when you win (or lose). In fact, for DOAX3 (which, as of this writing, is absolutely not confirmed), we could just drop everything and make it a casino game. I’d be all right with that, if they fleshed out (rimshot) the gameplay aspects a bit more.

After all, trying to read your opponent is one of the most important aspects of poker, so when you leave that out, you basically wind up with a very sophisticated random chance simulation. Which — cute protestations from the DOA girls aside — is not very interesting.

Apparently some other guys thought the same thing about online poker sites, because they’ve created a new one whose claim to fame is the ability to see your opponents via online video feeds as you play. So now you can put your poker face-reading skills to the test without having to fly to Vegas for the World Series of Poker. (Though if you did, you might bump into George Broussard or some of the guys from Gearbox Software.)

Since I’m far too conservative to gamble with anything except fake videogame money — and sometimes not even then — I’ll leave that idea to you, and wait for Dead or Alive Xtreme Texas Hold’Em instead.